Because of the challenges we faced at our school this year, my students and I have been discussing sympathy and empathy; what it means to really be sympathetic and empathetic. We’ve talked about the kindness and generosity of those who reached out to us during the flood, to lend a hand cleaning up or to donate items to help restore our school. We’ve discussed how to pull together as a team and to be understanding of those who are still struggling. Students have shared how friends and strangers have taken them in and supported them this year. It has been very inspirational to see the sympathy and empathy of our community and people across the country. However, it has also made me truly reflect on whether or not I have been empathetic as a teacher. Sympathetic yes, but empathetic? Sure, I accept late work. Yes, I call to check on students who have missed too much school. Of course, I went to the funeral when a student’s dad passed away. But, do I show true empathy and not just sympathy? There is a difference. Sympathy is a feeling of pity and sorrow for someone else’s misfortune but, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. How can I show my kiddos that I am not just sorry for their struggles but that I understand and share their feelings? There is a Swedish proverb that says, “Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow.” I recently came across the perfect illustration of this. An acquaintance, Kinsie Johns, who teaches at Douglas County School District in Lithia Springs, Georgia recently posted the following status on Facebook:
“She told me yesterday that some students were making fun of her hair and picking on her. So, after a little planning with her and a written reminder on my hand, today, we showed up with the same hair just to prove a point. It’s okay to be different. “Why fit in when you were born to stand out!?” – Dr. Seuss
I love these kids.”
A subsequent post shows the result of Kinsie’s amazing actions:
“So after yesterday’s decision, we had an interesting turn of events today…The little point I was trying to make turned into a huge support for my little friend! All the girls in my class are wearing their hair in “space buns” and even some of the boys got involved! They all wanted to support her and we even got some second graders involved! It has turned out to be a really neat experience for all of us!”
I was blown away by this! Kinsie could have just sympathized with the girl or reprimanded the other students. Instead, she empathized. She shared the little girl’s feelings and her struggle. What an amazing thing for a teacher to do. My goal going forward, to find ways to really show empathy and to share not just the joys and successes of my students but, their struggles as well.